Aftermath
by 19q
Summary: for the Fara and Max prompt awhile back. post ep for s4.e6.


Fara's never felt this before, this terrifying sense of having screwed up, of not knowing what to do. She's pretending to listen to Max as he points to something on the computer screen but doesn't hear a word he says. Instead she wonders if she should ask him, tell him. She's dying to ask for his advice. If it only didn't involve her culpability.

He's saying something about the nurse at the hospital, the one that gave Aayan the drugs and she doesn't bother to wait for him to stop. Interrupts him mid-sentence, thinks to herself maybe working for Carrie is rubbing off on her.

"I need your advice on something," she starts, speaking a bit too quickly.

Max looks at her quizzically and shrugs.

"Ok, shoot," he says.

Fara takes a breath, then lets it all out.

"I think I screwed up. When I was at the safehouse cleaning up. I was upstairs and the alarm went off. When I went to turn it off it looked like someone might have come in and looked through the garbage bags."

Max looks at her with wide eyes.

"And you haven't told Carrie?" he asks.

Fara shakes her head.

"I know I should have," she says. "But... it could have been nothing, the bag could have just tipped over and maybe the cardboard fell off. And I... I was still mad about her going off on me, I didn't want to have to call her with this."

Carrie reaps what she sows, Fara thinks to herself. Getting reamed out for doing a good job doesn't exactly make her likely to go to Carrie with something she's missed.

Max is still looking stressed and Fara wonders if he will "tell" on her if she doesn't own up. And then, as if she wasn't tense enough, the door of the office slams open and Carrie barges in. She slams the door shut as loudly as possible and Fara is surprised the door isn't damaged with the force of Carrie's abuse.

Fara and Max look at each other, silently willing the other to ask what happened, both clearly relieved when Carrie slams her way into an empty room, not bothering to acknowledge their existence.

By the time Quinn arrives Max and Fara have been watching Carrie pace and fume for almost an hour. A few breakable objects have taken flight already and they have almost exhausted the possibilities of what has made their boss lose her mind yet again.

Quinn at least stops to look at them grimly and give them the news.

"Aayan's dead," he says.

Fara gasps. Obviously she had known it was possible, even likely. But there was so much hope in the boy, she thinks.

"How?" she asks, wonders if Carrie really dropped a bomb on him, used him and killed him.

"Haqqani shot him," Quinn replies. "They have Saul. It's a long fucking story."

With that he opens the door and lets himself in with the caged tiger in the other room. Fara looks at Max, wonders if they should leave. They have a great view of the other office and it would be awkward either to leave or to stay. And they have work to do so it seems ridiculous to be chased from the office just because Carrie is losing her mind again. So silently they agree to stay and watch the theatrics, find out what happened.

As soon as Quinn enters the room with Carrie they hear her yell at him, call him a fucking traitor.

"It was a fucking order, Quinn! And you disobeyed it. Why the fuck did I ever ask you to come here?! All you do is fucking question me, undermine my authority, judge me for the way I operate. I've fucking had it with you and your fucking bullshit!" she screams in his face.

They can't hear Quinn's response, but he looks to be calm, trying to talk reason into the psychotic woman yelling at him.

Fara wonders yet again what the hell draws Quinn to Carrie, why he puts up with all her bullshit. She's fairly certain anyone else that yelled in his face like that would get a firm but clear warning of impending doom. But Quinn just takes it in stride, lets Carrie holler at him for awhile until she's worked her way up to angry tears.

"And now everything's gone to shit!" she yells. "Aayan's fucking dead and Haqqani's fucking alive and they have Saul and yes I fucked a fucking kid and now he's fucking dead. And I could have killed Haqqani but you had to fucking pussy out! And now it's all my fucking fault so if you have anything else you'd like to fucking blame on me, now's the time!"

Carrie turns away from Quinn, is clearly crying. Leans against the wall and looks defeated. They stand like that for awhile, Quinn keeps looking at Carrie warily. Finally he walks towards her, tentatively puts his arm around her shoulder.

Fara shakes her head to herself. Thinks he asks for it, is a glutton for punishment.

Her intuition is instantly correct as Carrie fights his touch, pushes him off. He reaches for her again, tries to restrain her and she wildly backhands him with a fist to the nose. Suddenly there's blood everywhere and Carrie pulls free of Quinn, stomps out of the room and then slams her way out of the office.

Quinn doesn't follow her, just sits down in the same room, still bleeding out of his nose. He wipes it on his shirt half-heartedly before reaching for a bottle of whiskey stashed in the desk.

Fara watches him sit and bleed for awhile, pieces together what happened through the yelling they heard. Max just looks somewhere between stunned and bored - Fara supposes he's worked for Carrie enough that he's no longer fazed by the insanity of it all.

Finally she gets up and brings Quinn some kleenex and a bag of ice. He shakes his head at her offerings, wipes his blood off on his shirt again and offers her a drink.

Fara declines the drink but sits down and watches as Quinn slams two shots in quick succession. He seems stone sober though, just looks like he might explode. Or cry.

"You did the right thing," she says to him even though she's not entirely sure if the concept of the right thing exists anymore. "She's just unreasonable, crazy."

Quinn shakes his head, looks forlorn.

"It's more complicated than that," he replies.

Fara looks at him, bloody and emotionally battered from dealing with Carrie. Thinks that's how she felt when Carrie went off on her. How the hell does she get away with treating people like that - this is what Fara has been wondering.

"Why do you always defend her?" she asks. "Yes it's her job but really she's just a.. a.. a bitch! She just uses everyone, all of us. She has no consideration for anyone!"

Quinn looks a bit shocked at her outburst and Fara is a bit surprised herself. She isn't used to expressing her emotions so forcefully but dealing with Carrie really brings it out of her.

He doesn't say anything for awhile but looks at her thoughtfully. The intensity of his look makes her shiver - she's always been a little afraid of Quinn even though he seems to go out of his way to be nice to her.

"Carrie is... Carrie is very good at her what she does," he finally says. "But that doesn't mean she's always right."

"Or that she can treat people like nothing, like pieces in a game," Fara replies. "You knew it, you even got away from it and now you're here again. Why the hell did you come back?"

Quinn sighs, looks at her tiredly. Fara wonders if she crossed too far over the boundary, is about to redact her question when Quinn answers.

"I really don't know," he says slowly. "I have a responsibility to her."

"Not if she doesn't want it," Fara replies. "You've tried your best, you've stood up to her, all it got you was a punch in the nose. Carrie doesn't listen to anyone."

Quinn shakes his head.

"That's why I have to keep trying," he says. "Carrie can be fucking hell to deal with but she needs someone looking out for her."

There's only so long you can beat your head against a brick wall, Fara thinks. She would be worried about Quinn if he wasn't obviously the kind of guy you don't worry about.

"What about the boy?" she asks. "She used him, made him fall in love with her! And now he's dead because of her."

She still can't quite believe Aayan is really dead, that Carrie seemed to have played him and sent him to his death without a thought.

"He's dead because of us. Because we're all here," Quinn replies solemnly. "He's been bringing drugs to Haqqani, he's old enough to know the position that put him in. But he was still a kid, still fucking naive and Carrie played him. And she got what she needed from him before all hell broke loose."

"But he died for nothing!" Fara argues. "We used him and led him to his death for intel that doesn't get us anywhere."

Quinn looks exhausted, slightly pale behind the still visible crusts of blood.

"Judging in hindsight is a tricky game," he says. "No one knows what might come out of this yet. There's definitely something big going on and Carrie's our best chance at putting it all together."

Fara frowns, wants Quinn to stop being so reasonable, to flip out and curse Carrie's name for being a psycho bitch to work for.

"So you don't think it's wrong the way she used Aayan? He thought he was in love with her!" Fara says. "He was just a kid."

Quinn sighs again, looks annoyed but not angry.

"I know how she operates," he finally says. "I should have fucking expected it but..."

Fara doesn't say anything, wonders if Quinn is going to finish his sentence.

"But I was pissed off. And I'm not even sure I have the right to be," he finishes.

Quinn looks completely wiped out, emotionally exhausted. She can tell he's still thinking through whatever happened in the control room that night, that he's only half there. He takes another couple swigs of the whiskey and closes his eyes as if in pain.

She's still a little afraid of him but Fara's never seen Quinn so vulnerable, weary.

"You know, she was right," Fara says.

Quinn opens his eyes, looks at her tiredly.

"What?" he asks.

"Carrie told me once that you're a good man," she says. "I think it's the only nice thing I've ever heard her say about anyone."

Quinn doesn't reply, stays seated, looks tired but pensive.

Fara gets up, lets herself out. Goes back into the other room where Max is still at the computer sifting through data.

He looks at her as she enters and sits tiredly on the chair next to him.

"I don't think you should tell her," he says, deadpan.

Fara looks over at Quinn with his tumbler of whiskey, covered in blood and despair. Wonders how he can still have hope in Carrie, see something in her no one else bothers to look for.

She smiles sadly, nods at Max.

"No, probably not," she replies.

She does not need to risk the wrath of Carrie Mathison - she's seen the effects.


End file.
